Summer...sigh... I miss thee

And already I miss the carefree days of summerlicious times.

But that's ok because you will be back before we know it.  In the mean time I be dreamin' of leisure divin', sunshiney saturdays and sweaty sunday runs.  see you next year, dear summer!

xo

so its been awhile...

And I am sorry for that.  Somewhere out there the words got lost.  Maybe in my heart or maybe out there in the world.  But so lost I could hardly find them or even hear them.  Then tonight after returning home after a long 2 days something sparked my heart.  I read a post, don't laugh outloud, on facebook, that reminded me of those words, those truths.  That life is so sacred and so short.  That laughter and people can make everything better in the blink of an eye.   Alas enough with the deep thoughts by vings.  I must share.  I don't know the writer or person behind these thoughts nor do I need to but I know one thing and that is they are true.  Please read.  Afterwards take a step back and be reminded how simple it all truly is and take a moment to remember this life is yours and what you choose and friends, there is always so much more...

There is much more to life than what you can see before you at this moment; there’s much more than what you can store in your memory, and more to it than any dictionary can define or what google can spit at you. The world keeps spinning but you might feel as though you’re standing still. There is a dimension that you can't see, touch, or feel.

In that dimension your heart is your compass and sparks of electricity are flying all around you. North is not always pointing the same way, you communicate with signals that can't be seen, but instead, are felt. You live through energy shocks that run through your soul. You feel things, what humans call, happy, sad, angry and in love!

Some of us live in that world, embracing it and enjoying every pebble of shock that runs through our human bodies. These people are out there looking for it, hunting for it and crossing the lands to feel it. Just like the northern lights zipping through pitch black skies, the energy moves through our bodies, exciting our souls.

This energy is the beauty of life; it knows no beginning or end, it has no weight or value, it has no face or shape, but it lives within your heart! It moves in and out leaving you in love with rays of sun, wide-open skies and thin air. It keeps you humble and always smiling. It tucks you in at night and wakes you up in the morning. It snatches the words out of your mouth as you stand on top of a mountain; listening to the sound of a cool breeze zipping through the lush valley below.

This energy is what keeps me living, learning and loving. It keeps me gazing up at the rich blue skies of day and the brilliant starry skies at night...

Poetry and music are only a scratch on the surface, trying to make senesce of it. Pictures and paintings are only what humans believe to represent it, and I am only a person trying to live it!

There is much more…

Good night.  see you soon.  Pinky. 

V. xo

Eff you Arthritis!

hello my friends.  Sorry it has been so long.  I have missed you but my voice went missing for sometime.  Its weird how that happens isn't it?   I mean I love to write and I have all these things to share but it was like I had laryngitis of the mind.  Alas Vingnation's heart and soul took a break, rejigged, healed the laryngitis and here we are.  I am coming back and I am coming back with a vengeance of sorts.

I love to run.  Running makes my heart smile and my soul sing.  But you all know this through and through.
Unfortunately, I have encountered an obstacle as of late.  An obstacle that angers and annoys me.  At first I was broken hearted and crushed.  I cried--I mean wailed like a big fat baby and in truth I allowed myself to do so.  I felt sorry for myself for an instant and I allowed it.  Hell I believed I was owed it.  Months back I pulled my adductor and my amazingly smart and proactive sports doc sent me for an mri just in case.  So I planned to go like a good little athlete.  It took weeks to get in and in that time the pain in my adductor dissipated and I was running pain free and normal as per before.  In my mind I thought, this MRI is useless, there is no need but I went because I am trying to follow orders and instructions by those more qualified then I.
The day before receiving my results I ran the sporting life 10K.  Where in Vingnation I kicked SERIOUS ass.  I ran a Personal Best of 42 mins and 59 seconds, placing well and feeling amazing.  Cockiness prevailed.  What will these MRI results reveal?  A big fat nothing I shouted in my mind.  I just kicked ass, I just killed it sans pain... in your face MRI results.  The next morning I was shocked beyond belief..what did these results uncover...they uncovered arthritis in my left hip along with lateral tears in my cartilage.  The perplexity and confusion hit  both me and my doc like a ton of bricks. he must have asked me 3 times, so you ran a PB yesterday but are sensing no pain.  3 times I replied nope.  I caught a glimpse of hope in his eyes as I bit my cheeks in hopes of not showing any weakness via tears.  With perplexion the doctor explained how I had the hip of a 50 year old woman and if I were in fact 50 years old he would be telling me to find a new sport.  My teeth dug deeper into my cheeks while I repeated DO. NOT. CRY. VINGS in my head.  In conclusion of our appointment My sports doc told me to keep doing what I am doing BUT that I would need to monitor my pain and my body more closely.  That if I did feel pain I would need to stop immediately.  He reminded me no one else knows how or what I am feeling. We scheduled another appointment to check in in July as that is when I will begin increasing my mileage for my marathon training.

The whole walk back through the financial district I cried and wailed and ranted.  This is not fair.  Life is not fair.  I am a runner..why am I being punished.  I started to play the what if I didn't game....I wallowed in self pity and allowed my self to grieve.  That night as I fell into sleep I fretted.  BUT upon waking the next morning I had a new sunny disposition...I hopped out of bed and looked in the mirror and confidently said:  "HEY ARTHRITIS, efffff you"  I then thought I am going to use this as motivation.  This arthritis ain't getting the vings down...no way!  I am going to get stronger and work harder so it cannot.  so it won't.
Alas, it sucks BUT I promise you I will not allow it to get me down or draw me out.   I assure you I will keep doing what I am doing but better and with more motivation.  I looped in my amazing coach along with an awesome specialist whom are all on board to help me run strong and with little pain as possible.  I have encountered yet another obstacle and that is whether I can run the NY marathon which I qualified for and have been accepted into.  This decision will be based on being pain free come July.  did this obstacle bring me to tears? of course.  I balled yet again with the force of a child after skinning her knee. I want to run the NY marathon so badly.  I was presented with the following ultimatum:  Run the New York Marathon and never run again OR don't run it and run forever!  WHAT?  I cried not because I may not be able to run the marathon But I cried because I HAD to make this decision.
So here we are at the end of May.  I have had one day where I had to STOP running due to pain.  I am DETERMINED to stay pain free.  With the help of my AMAZING coach, my amazing doc, pure awesome specialists and my positive running buddies I know I can do this.  I will do this.  Hell I was born to do this!  Hey Arthritis... Eff you and Catch me if you can!!

V. xo

truth

I am in love

Costa Rica stole my heart.  happy sigh.

Pura Vida. V. xo

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability

This brought tears to my eyes.  Beautiful talk on the power of vulnerability.  Friends, to be loved we must believe we are worthy of love.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

V. xo

Truth

Bring it 2011...

V. xo

Twas christmas eve...already?

Well well well here we are again at the holly season.  It is Christmas eve and I am at the rents already starting to relax away from the city's hustle and bustle.  my pressies are wrapped, tied and bowed--although they look as though they were wrapped by a 5 year old...they ARE wrapped.  Tacky not lovely was the vings theme of the day.  I whistled and dance partied while I worked and somewhere at some moment I got excited about this here season.  It has been awhile since I was genuinely excited for Christmas.  Somewhere along the years it lost its spark for me.  I always try and pin point the exact reason but there is unfortunately a handful but this year they are not getting me down.  They range from Santa to loss to earth shattering pain.  Somehow this year I have bottled them up in a mason jar and put them to the side.  They are there, I can feel them, but the joy and love in my heart are winning.  Perhaps this year is one in a million or perhaps this season will be one I embrace forevermore, either way I am going to embrace and go with it and enjoy every itty bitty second.
Merry Christmas, My friends!  Go!  Now!  Eat, drink, Be merry and Be thankful.
Muah!
V. xo

My heart is heavy.

Today is just another day for you but not for me.  It is a day, years ago I lost someone I loved and still do love very much.  I miss him and think of him often.  Would I change one moment we shared back then?  Never.  We loved, we laughed, we cried, we shared.  He shall live on deep within the bowels of my heart and remain one breath away until that day we meet again.  As he sits up there looking down upon me with that mischievous smile of his, I look right back and give him a wink and thank my lucky stars for the time we had and the moments we shared.  
Friends, we cannot rewrite the past and only have the future but I will always and forever remember him and the impact he had on my life. Take a moment today and be thankful for everyone in your life.  Tell these peeps how you feel and what they mean to you...you just never know.  Life is just so damn precious and too damn short.  My heart is heavy but for the best possible reason, to love someone so much, is so damn incredible. He is always with me. Forevermore.
V. xo