Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Wall

So I finally hit it this past weekend.  Now I get it.  I finally understand what all the fuss is about.

On Sunday morning I rose, ate my regular breaky while streaming the Chicago marathon in bed, up north, at the frac.  Watching the marathon live had me more motivated then I had been in ages and I was ready to hit the road for a killer 36Ker.  My longest training run pre NY.

I have been feeling good.  My speed and hill work outs have been amazing.  Every week I see personal improvements via time and mental state while pushing myself hard.  My left quad has been a tad stiff but once warmed up I don't even notice it.  All my long runs til this point had been killer leaving me tired but invigorated.

So alas I wasn't worried Sunday.  Not worried one teensy tiny little bit.  I hit the road around 10:30am.  I was going out south portage road to Hwy 60 towards Huntsville and then back.  First few miles I realized I was in for a hilly ride.  The getaway sticks were cruisin' and I was at ease, hammering it out.  At 11.5 miles I slowed down and refueled at the Marina before turning around.  I felt thirsty, which I know is never a good sign.  I said my hellos to the marina peeps and set out back on my way.  At this point I realized something was not right.  I slowed shook my legs and kept trucking.  But still something was not right.  I could not focus, my head was all over the place-mentally and physically.  This is when it started to sink in...I could not run anymore.  I was done.  I hit the wall.  gulp.  My shoulders and neck tensed up and I felt so unlike myself I felt ill.  I stopped and burst into tears.  What the hell was going on??  I mean I was not hangover, I was well rested, I was well fueled and hydrated enough-or so I thought.  There was no explanation for this really.  I felt defeated and like a big ole disaster.  I picked up my iphone and dialed my dad.  He shot out from the cottage and grabbed me along the highway.

Once I stepped into my rents trucks and sat down, my head fell to my knees and I cried like I had not cried in sometime.  My dad gave me my moment.  Then spoke up and reminded me that I am only human and that a run like that is bound to happen once in awhile.  Its true and I get that but it was still so effing frustrating and kind of embarrassing.  I just don't do that, ya know.  I set out to do something and I do it.  I don't quit. Ever.    We stopped for Gatorade and then I cried some more.  I texted my coach whom in the nicest way possible told me to suck it up.  Words I needed to hear, especially from him.  His message ended with I am sorry but better now then in NY.  Gilly my RBFF (running Bff) told me not to sweat it, shake it off and tmos is a new day.  Also words I needed to hear.  So I did.  Or I have tried to.

I ended up going for a nice hard 10-15Ker last night--and it was a great one.  The kind that reminded me why I love to run.  Thank goodness the Running gods were on my side so it was easy to get back on the horse.  But this morning I woke up feeling a bit blah.  I could not put my finger on why exactly and then I realized upon my departure from the office this eve it was that damn run.  It pinched my spirit a little and stole a little bit of my positive energy-for a second.  Tmo is a new day and I am determined to wake up with Sundays run far far from my memory and left up north with the thanksgiving turkey carcass where it belongs.  But friends, I had to wallow in it a little, understand it, learn from it and walk away from it.  So this is what I shall do.  I don't really understand it but I did learn that I gots to keep taking care of this hard working body of mine.  I am going to be very concious of my food intake and make sure I am fueled up properly.  I hydrate like a mo fo but will continue to keep track of this too.  I also learned that I am not perfect and even sometimes the ole getaway sticks can have enough!  And i am thanking the running gods for getting this out of my system before New York.

So friends, another thing to check off the whole running list...I hit the wall and lived to tell about it.  Now its on to bigger and better...
With only 26 sleeps til New york and the SBWM half this weekend at marathon race pace, I need to get the ole head back into the game, shake it off and keep hammering it forward in true vingnation style.

 V.

2 comments:

FFF said...

Yup. "The Wall" is a funny thing, isn't it?

I always expect "hitting" it to be more dramatic / sudden. But it never is... (At least not for me, each of the -thankfully- very few times I've hit it!). It's more of a slow, "sinking in" , as you describe it.

I can judge the ferocity of my wall "hits" by how much equipment I throw to the side of the road / into a field. (On that note, YOUR coping mechanism is MUCH less costly! :-| )

Kill it at NYC!

V. said...

It really shook and shocked me. so unexpected but alas must embrace, shake it off and move on. I do get what all the fuss is about and you are right I always expected it to me mad dramatic and sudden and it totally is not. I am glad to have experienced it and may it never occur again! fingies crossed.

I will do my best to show NYC whose boss :)

Thanks for reading!

V.