Friday, December 30, 2011

I am the new year...

V. xo

My Milagro

To the left is a photograph of my seven wishes for 2012.  This cross and its charms is called a milagro.  To make a wish come true I tapped the charms into the wood.  Each charm is a wish.  once you fill the cross with charms, its filled with luck by me!
I have documented my wishes as to not forget what I have hoped for this coming year.  Its was exciting hammering in those charms.  I am so excited for 2012!  weeeee!

Hasta la vista 2011!

Every time we get closer to a new year, I wish so much that I had sat down and written out my highs and lows for each month of the past year.  Perhaps this year is the year that I finally do!!  I think it would be so amazing to recount the good times and the times I have learned from.  2011 was yet another epic year with amazing accomplishments, amazing moments and amazing people.  There were some disappointments peppered in there but none with out some learning!  As I have said before, there are no rainbows without any rain, my friends.
When I look back on 2011 I think of the following...  Nosara,Costa Rica: where in someways I found my heart again and I learned to surf..finally!!, The New York Marathon: where I showed'em docs whom told me I may never be able to run a marathon again because of my hip..Boom., Jasper Bennett George: Ash and Matt's little rascal who joined us in October, Jen & Joel: Two of my oldest and goldest tyin' the knot, TAXI: where I love to work because of the culture and the peeps I get to work with and for appreciating my work and my attitude, The Weldrick and The Runway:  the coach of all coaches and my running family whom in some way or another make me smile every single day, New & Old friends:  for always loving and supporting me no matter my antics.  As my dad said to me the other day when I asked if he still loved me after I had been on the annoying side.  He sighed and said of course but sometimes you make it difficult.  haha.  My family:  for reminding me where I get my determination and positive outlook from.
2011 wasn't all sunshine and lollypops, I have watched people close to me hurt and struggle with all of their might.  I had a couple melt downs myself and a few upside down days but I need to give thanks to those moments for teaching me how strong I am and for reminding me that I am alive.  peaks and valleys, my friends.
As I sit and reminisce on the year that was I get a tear in my eye.  Thanks for the laughs and the loves and the golden come on 2012, Lets effing do this mutha effers!  Boom.
V. xo

Monday, December 19, 2011

If I should have a daughter...

If I should have a daughter, instead of "Mom," she's gonna call me "Point B," because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I'm going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, "Oh, I know that like the back of my hand." And she's going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by Band-Aids or poetry. So the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn't coming, I'll make sure she knows she doesn't have to wear the cape all by herself because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I've tried. "And, baby," I'll tell her, don't keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick; I've done it a million times. You're just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him." But I know she will anyway, so instead I'll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix. Okay, there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix. But that's what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything, if you let it. I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass-bottom boat, to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind, because that's the way my mom taught me. That there'll be days like this. ♫ There'll be days like this, my momma said. ♫ When you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises; when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape; when your boots will fill with rain, and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment. And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you. Because there's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's sent away. You will put the wind in winsome, lose some. You will put the star in starting over, and over. And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life. And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, I am pretty damn naive. But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it. "Baby," I'll tell her, "remember, your momma is a worrier, and your poppa is a warrior, and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more." Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things. And always apologize when you've done something wrong, but don't you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. Your voice is small, but don't ever stop singing. And when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.

This is written by Sarah Kay.  Beautiful isn't it?  Left me with a full heart and a tear in my eye.
V. xo

Friday, December 9, 2011

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Dec 9th 2011. 14 years ago. I miss thee...

Fourteen years ago tmos the world lost one in a billion.  He lit up the room with his larger then life personality and loved so hard right down til his last goodbye.  I hate this day more then any other day in the year and you know me, I rarely use the word hate, in fact I actually hate the word hate.   As this day approaches my heart grows heavy and head spins with pain.  I miss him everyday and without a doubt I will for the rest of my life moving forward. I can close my eyes and be right back...holding hands tight.  driving down twisty, turvy roads. singing our hearts out. the smell of pine air freshners in the tip of my nose.  laughing so hard at nothing and everything.  The moments are so close yet so fricking far away.  Jason, you are in my heart forevermore.  You shall never be forgotten.  Thank you for everything you were and everything you still are.  Its so hard to believe you are literally one breath away.  With love to you always and forever...
V. xo