New York Marathon, I heart you.

So the New York Marathon is done and done.  It was a killer experience all and all but I would be lying to y'all if I did not tell you I am and was a bit disappointed with my results.  I know I know, the whole woah is me routine is lamer then lame and my blog is a space of optimism, sunshine and all that.  BUT I am human and I pinky this will not be negative, just honest.
I work hard.  Like real hard. I follow my running regime to the T.  I follow a strict training regime and listen dutifully to my coach.  My weeks are filled with 7-8 work outs and I run 50-70 miles.  The past 6 months has seen me battle with obnixious injuries--some quad issues, some shin and calf issues and a big fat cluster eff in the ole right hip.  I pushed through all of them.  I ignored them as best I could and tried to keep my anxiety at bay.

Fast forward to last weekend...Nov. 5th.  We were in NYC.  I was feeling effing amazing.  My legs had not felt that fresh in I cannot remember the last time.  I was nervous but not overly.  Nov. 6th, The morning of the race, everything went as planned.  Although my tummy was a mess of knots and I did have some gastro issues--alas nothing I need to share here!  We gots a little panicked from the ferry to the bus but it was all nerves.  The weather was perfect.  On the start line, my tummy felt empty.  But there was nothing I could do about that now.  I set those thoughts aside, hugged myself as always, kissed my biceps, rubbed my ear lobes and jumped three times (been doing this since I was a child as a competitive swimmer).  And we were off.  My first 16 miles felt good.  I was a little slower then pace but I was really hoping to run a negative split so I was confident.  The Queenboro bridge was effing tough.  Quite an incline and with little decline for recovery.  The side/head wind gots you good.  But I tried to keep smiling and enjoy every second.  From here on out, I had to push hard.  At mile 20, I lost the feeling in my feet.  from my toes up to my ankles.  It was odd and disconcerting.  Frightful thoughts raced through my head:  do I stop?  do I not finish?  fortunately or maybe unfortunately, this is never an option for me.  you finish what you start.  so I kept trucking.  My pace band had fallen out of my pocket some time ago but I knew I needed 8 mins miles.  I could not keep'em consistent so I turned the face of my garmin away from me, put my head down and decided to just get'er done.  I knew my goal time was already out of reach but I could not focus on this.  I promised myself that what ever happened I would not be disappointed with my results because I did everything I possibly could to be ready for NY AND the fact that 6 mos ago all my sports health care providers told me the marathon was a far fetched dream that may not happen.  well, I showed them didn't I?  But the truth of the matter is, I am a tad disappointed by my time because I did do everything I possibly could to prepare.  I made new choices like giving up certain things and missing out on certain things and although I would not change this for anything I still wonder why my body couldn't do it!!  Am I proud of myself for rocking it best I could?  hells yes but I want that PB more then you know.  The fire is burning hotter then ever before.  After the race, I was buzzed with emotional energy--positive.  First person I called was my coach.  I could hear the pride in his voice which made my heart smile.  After it all set in a bit, I began reasoning with myself.  Maybe my 3:29 at Mississauga was a total fluke.  Gilly reassured me that running does not work that way.  There are no flukes. She reminded me what I said a million times, sometimes its your day and sometimes its not.  I made NYC my day but just did not get the time I was hoping for.  Disappointment only brings a harder work ethic over here.  5 mins after the race I was like I am done with marathons.  6 hours later I was like well, maybe one more!?  haha.  I am going to take the next season to work on my short distances.  Get the speed up.  some goals I through out there to the coach were a fast half-hopefully a sub 1:35 with some pacing help and I would really like to try a tri in the summer.
As in every life situation, we learn.  Every marathon I run, I learn more about who I am and what I am about.  I am one determined chick.  I do not give up easily.

The one thing that has been shocking to me, and in away disappointing, 2 days post race my legs felt fine.  Like go for a run, no stiffness or sorenes fine.  It goes to show you that a. I am in fricking great shape.  and b. (grrrrr) maybe I did not push hard enough Sunday.  I have enjoyed two short runs this week where I have felt light and fresh.  I have one more week of chilltown then its back at it.
In conclusion, as promised, no negativity here.  no siree bob.  but honesty..yes ma'am.  I love running.  I love everything about it and I am going to keep working hard and get me some pb's.
New York Marathon-I heart you.  The experience was one of a lifetime.  I will be recounting the moments within the experience for many days to come.
now, its back at it. off to get my ass kicked by the coach and I cannot wait.
V. xo