Single fo life yo?

Well, y'all know I am an optimist. A real positive gal with positivity almost pouring out of every pour but sometimes my mama's realism pushes through. My mom is an awesome woman whom sees things for what they are. I appreciate her insight more then you might think. She is my mom after all so sometimes this realist attitude can take shape within me. I don't always love it but it happens. As of late I have come to terms with being alone...in the best possible way. I heart being independent, making choices pour moi. I don't mind time to myself and I love flying by the seat of my pants. It has been a long road to here. I have made mistakes, done things I am not especially proud of but learned a hell of a lot along the way. There has also been much funs and laughs. I wouldn't change my journey to here for anything. But as of late I am starting to wonder if there is anyone out there for me. I am trying not to lose hope but I mean am I to be single for life yos? I know what your sayin', giver time vings, it will happen when you least expect it. But will it? I mean I have met some great dudes. Dudes I would date and would love to get to know better but then it comes slowly but surely, the blow off. You know it, you have felt it, unfortunately we have all done it. I am just not sure how much more I can take. How much more I can endure. It deflates, defaults and hurts. Not only does it hurt the ego a tad, it hurts my heart. It hurts like a stubbed toe. A quick burst of pain shivers through one edge to the other. I do what we all do when we experience this type of pain, curse loudly, take a deep breath and carry on. But before the carry on bit I can get a little loopy. I don't deal well with grey. I need black and I need white. Grey is confusing. I am working on embracing it better but there is still a lot of work to be done. It is all frustrating and deflating.
I watch shows like the Bachelorette and the Bachelor Pad and wonder why the heck people set themselves up for rejection purposely on national TV. I mean there is a 1 in what 50 chance you won't get rejected? but still those odds are not so good. Well not good enough for me, anyway. I cannot stand anything about rejection. The word itself even gets me rattled.
I know I am ranting a tad and I apologize for that.
So where does this leave me? Exactly where I started at the top of this post. Perhaps you see this as me giving up--which is out of character for the vings--as much as I would love to say, I just don't give a damn, I won't and in all honesty I can't. As the optimist in me would say with each stubbed heart I become stronger and I learn...something, I am just not sure of what yet. And it gets me closer to my prince charming...I guess. Single fo life? Nahhhh Single fo now.
Thanks for listening ;)

V. xo