make the decision to just do it...

Every day someone in the world begins chasing their dreams.
Every day someone in the world realizes one of their lifetime dreams. 
Every day someone in the world begins to stop regretting and start living. 
Every day someone in the world lets go of the past and embraces the now. 
Every day someone wakes up with a smile of joy on their face and the wonder at being alive. 
Every day someone becomes the person they were meant to be… 
Why? 
Because they made the decision to just do it.

Thank you for the reminder.  Came at the perfect time.
V. xo

July 13th 2011

35 years ago today, this awesome person named Jason Courtney was born. He left us way too soon but will never be forgotten.

I cannot help but remember this amazing story Jay told me about when he was born…
It was in fact Friday the 13th and on the way home from the hospital his mother had a craving for McDonalds so they popped in for her fix. Afterwards, as they were belting up and gearing up to go the feeling of dread washed over his parents. They had left their new born baby in the fricking McDonalds! Like a flash they hurried back to retrieve their newborn! All was fine. Pure hilarity.

Jay was pretty amazing. He was my first love and I am so thankful for every moment we shared together. Every moment was a blessing.
My heart hurts at the fact that he is no longer with us and the fact that he was taken from us so soon. It is a pain in my heart that will never ever go away but one I have learned to live with.
I will always love and miss him. This is a fact of my life.

Please take a moment today and think of all those you love and thank them for every moment, for what they bring to your life, every single day.
And raise a cold one in honor of Jay. I know he would love it.

May Jay never ever be forgotten.

19:44

The number above represents so much more then a new 5K personal best time.  It represents how hard work, listening to your body and listening to the coach pay off.  It represents if you let things go, there is room for better, brighter things AND It represents the beginning of an incredible 2012 running season.

The number above brought the following: some quiet tears, a few private and public squeals along with a couple private solo dance parties to no music.  It brought a day of fist pumps and amazing words of congratulations that left me with a smiling heart and a huge sense of pride.

Yesterday my 2012 running season began with a small race in the hammer to kick off St. Patty's day.  There was only a 5K that had us start on the top of the hammertown mountain and finish us at the Slainte pub.  There was an issue with the course leading as we all ended up running 5.53K.  I am not going to lie when I crossed the finish line after running said length I was pretty gutted and disappointed but once I was given all the info I began to realize how effing awesome I did.

I ran my little heart out.  My pace was 3:58/km, which had me finish the 5.53 with a time of 21:40 something.  My 5K time was adjusted to 19:44.  Not only is this a huge PB for me (over 2mins!)  I won my agegroup and was 4th woman overall.  This also is exactly where I want to be to attain my goals.  I am thrilled.  Actually I am more then thrilled, I am effing ecstatic.  Finally the hardwork is paying off and man does it feel good.

Let the running season begin. Signed, sealed and delivered. Bring on the PBs. 

V. xo

The Running Coach

Yesterday was an interesting day.  Interesting in a good way.  Maybe in the best possible way.  AND the best part about it was a message the coach posted on our Club Facebook page.  It caught me by surprise and left me with tears in my eyes and literally speechless.  I feel so loved and thankful for the beautiful people in my life.  Thank you coach for seeing the best in me and for always believing in me.

I heart The Runway and everything it has and continues to give me.

V. xo

livin' in the summer lake sparkle

Well well well, we are 1 month and 8 days into 2012 and I gots to say so far so good.  I am really digging the 12 and as predicted she has sparkled...so far.
I have been doing my best to stick to all of the goals I set out for myself.  I am doing ok if I do say so myself.  Life is busy but there is always time for whats important.  my heart has never been more open...Jesse would argue this is because of my new weekly practice of yoga.  He has stated more then once:  An open heart is because of open hips.  Not going to lie, it seems to be true.

Running is going swimmingly, I have been feeling like my old self on the energy side of things and I am back into the whole quality over quantity.  Before christmas and after New York I was doing too much!  I was averaging 9 or so work outs a week, where quantity was definitely outweighing the quality levels.  I was not listening to my inner voice and I was pushing through when I actually needed some straight up rest.  I seem to be on a much better path...Actually worrying a lot less about all the little things and focussing more on the big picture and getting the mileage in.  Not every night is going to be a great work out but when I do have a GREAT, over the top, amazing one I make sure to bask in its glory.  My mileage is getting up there and until this week I have had really no pain.  As of Monday I have been feeling a twinge in my left achilles/lower calf.  Never experienced anything there before.  not stressing.  I made an appointment with K. Hood whom I know will fix me right up. Tuesday I wore my compression socks all day and rolled out my lefty any chance I got.  yep, my colleagues now officially think I am nuts.  During my long runs I notice my leg turn over to be quicker and overall less tired and stronger.  My long runs have been noticeably faster.  I have been running a lot more by feel instead of distance which seems to be working a lot better for me.  Why is the coach always right?  My goals are still in place and although I keep feeling the need to deviate the coach and Jess always seem to bring me back to my path.  Probably a good thing since my track record with deviating has not been so successful.  It usually has ended in an awful hurt or injury.  Must stick to the plan!

On the real life side of things I seem to be dealing with things with more thought and at the right time.  With the wise words from Shel, I try to see things from a different lense and learn from each situation.  There is value in everything we do.  There is no room for hate or drama in this life of mine.  We all have enough concerns.  I am loving people for who they are and what they are.  Thats it, thats all.  Sometimes its easier then other times. The universe has its plan and as Sam said so many years ago, it will protect me from the world.  I have always said this but for the first time I truly I comprehend it.  The last month or so I forgiven myself for the things I have harbored and carried for so long.  I am not perfect.  and sorry peeps, I never will be.  I am what and who I am, just trying to be the best Sarah Vingoe I can be.  I have tried so hard to relish in the moments more so then ever before.  I have added new little routines to my weekly life that have helped remind me of how sweet and how short life truly is.  We only get each moment once!  So simple but so easily forgotten.

You know in the dog days of summer, when its hottter then hot and you are sitting by the lake reading that silly book about teenage love and you take a peak at the lake over your shades and the sun is hitting it just so it sparkles like a real diamond should?...  And the mere sight of this sparkle makes your heart skip a beat?...  That is 2012 so far.  Yep the summer lake sparkle.  so much great has already happened and so much great to come! OH and so much great I don't even know about yet!  I really cannot wait...Every morning when I hop out of bed I look forward to the adventures, challenges and sparkles that await!  gonna keep reveling in the summer lake sparkle, my friends.

V. xo

I'm a distance runner.

"I'm a distance runner. I've been trained to keep going even when it's hard. When it hurts. When it sucks. When I don't want to. I look past it. Relentless forward progress to the finish. Call it what you want; stubbornness, endurance, determination, guts. Deep down, I don't know how to give up. [And it's always worth in the end]." Author Unknown.


The above hits close to home.  I have been there when it sucks, when I don't want to and some how I have looked past it and come through.  Sometimes I am shocked at my own endurance and determination.
I think all distance runners can relate and have been there once or twice before.


V.

Rest In Peace, Sarah Burke

I did  not know Sarah Burke, I actually do not know much about her except she was an exceptional canadian freestyler skier whom fought for her sport and won many a gold medals.  It looks and sounds to me she was my type of people.  Happy, excited, compassionate, loving, fun, hardworking, motivated and determined.  She was a friend to many I know.  When I heard the news of her accident, my heart dropped and I could not help but say a little prayer to the universe.  Yesterday Sarah Burke left us.  Today as I scroll through the home page of the 'book and I see the pictures being posted of her tweens, teens and the past, I cannot help but be brought to tears.  A huge loss to all those that knew her, to world of skiing and to the world as we know it.  It would seem to me she had the smile that would light up any room and an energy that could motivate anyone.  My heart and thoughts are with her family and friends at this difficult time.  Life is short, friends. Live every moment like you mean it.  Do what makes you happy and be with those whom make you happy.  Be true to you and to every moment because it will not last forever.
At my Saturday morning work out I will take a moment and reflect on a woman whom left us to soon.  Rest in peace, Sarah Burke.

V. xo

Running

"Running is not just an exercise, a routine, a workout, or a weight loss fad. Running is breaking down barriers I never knew existed. Running is pushing myself past my limits and breaking free of my old habits. Running is the blisters on my feet, the blood through my socks, the pain in my chest, the sweat from my face, the burning in my lungs. Running is my escape to my zone where you cannot reach me or touch me. Running is so much more to me than you can ever imagine."  Author unknown.

Happiness: Words to live by in 2012

V. xo

I am the new year...

V. xo

My Milagro

To the left is a photograph of my seven wishes for 2012.  This cross and its charms is called a milagro.  To make a wish come true I tapped the charms into the wood.  Each charm is a wish.  once you fill the cross with charms, its filled with luck by me!
I have documented my wishes as to not forget what I have hoped for this coming year.  Its was exciting hammering in those charms.  I am so excited for 2012!  weeeee!
V.

Hasta la vista 2011!

Every time we get closer to a new year, I wish so much that I had sat down and written out my highs and lows for each month of the past year.  Perhaps this year is the year that I finally do!!  I think it would be so amazing to recount the good times and the times I have learned from.  2011 was yet another epic year with amazing accomplishments, amazing moments and amazing people.  There were some disappointments peppered in there but none with out some learning!  As I have said before, there are no rainbows without any rain, my friends.
When I look back on 2011 I think of the following...  Nosara,Costa Rica: where in someways I found my heart again and I learned to surf..finally!!, The New York Marathon: where I showed'em docs whom told me I may never be able to run a marathon again because of my hip..Boom., Jasper Bennett George: Ash and Matt's little rascal who joined us in October, Jen & Joel: Two of my oldest and goldest tyin' the knot, TAXI: where I love to work because of the culture and the peeps I get to work with and for appreciating my work and my attitude, The Weldrick and The Runway:  the coach of all coaches and my running family whom in some way or another make me smile every single day, New & Old friends:  for always loving and supporting me no matter my antics.  As my dad said to me the other day when I asked if he still loved me after I had been on the annoying side.  He sighed and said of course but sometimes you make it difficult.  haha.  My family:  for reminding me where I get my determination and positive outlook from.
2011 wasn't all sunshine and lollypops, I have watched people close to me hurt and struggle with all of their might.  I had a couple melt downs myself and a few upside down days but I need to give thanks to those moments for teaching me how strong I am and for reminding me that I am alive.  peaks and valleys, my friends.
As I sit and reminisce on the year that was I get a tear in my eye.  Thanks for the laughs and the loves and the golden memories...now come on 2012, Lets effing do this mutha effers!  Boom.
V. xo

If I should have a daughter...

If I should have a daughter, instead of "Mom," she's gonna call me "Point B," because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I'm going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, "Oh, I know that like the back of my hand." And she's going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by Band-Aids or poetry. So the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn't coming, I'll make sure she knows she doesn't have to wear the cape all by herself because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I've tried. "And, baby," I'll tell her, don't keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick; I've done it a million times. You're just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him." But I know she will anyway, so instead I'll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix. Okay, there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix. But that's what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything, if you let it. I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass-bottom boat, to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind, because that's the way my mom taught me. That there'll be days like this. ♫ There'll be days like this, my momma said. ♫ When you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises; when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape; when your boots will fill with rain, and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment. And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you. Because there's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's sent away. You will put the wind in winsome, lose some. You will put the star in starting over, and over. And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life. And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, I am pretty damn naive. But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it. "Baby," I'll tell her, "remember, your momma is a worrier, and your poppa is a warrior, and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more." Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things. And always apologize when you've done something wrong, but don't you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. Your voice is small, but don't ever stop singing. And when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.

This is written by Sarah Kay.  Beautiful isn't it?  Left me with a full heart and a tear in my eye.
V. xo

A thousand kisses deep

Beautiful.  

V.

Dec 9th 2011. 14 years ago. I miss thee...

Fourteen years ago tmos the world lost one in a billion.  He lit up the room with his larger then life personality and loved so hard right down til his last goodbye.  I hate this day more then any other day in the year and you know me, I rarely use the word hate, in fact I actually hate the word hate.   As this day approaches my heart grows heavy and head spins with pain.  I miss him everyday and without a doubt I will for the rest of my life moving forward. I can close my eyes and be right back...holding hands tight.  driving down twisty, turvy roads. singing our hearts out. the smell of pine air freshners in the tip of my nose.  laughing so hard at nothing and everything.  The moments are so close yet so fricking far away.  Jason, you are in my heart forevermore.  You shall never be forgotten.  Thank you for everything you were and everything you still are.  Its so hard to believe you are literally one breath away.  With love to you always and forever...
V. xo

Hammered it in Hammertown

Today I went racin' and it felt good.  Like real good.  It was a small race out in hammertown.  8 clicks.  out and back.  No fancy shirts and no fancy finishers medals.  5 of us from the Runway went out together, warmed up, hit the startline together.  orange power strolled in and everyone took notice.
The weather was perf.  cloudy, light wind, and warm enough to wear shorts and singlets sans arm warmers.  We gathered on the startline and boom we were off.  Today I did a few things differently.
1.  I raced for the first time sans my garmin.  I pulled out the new timex.  As per usual The coach was right.  It changed everything.  I spent NO time distracted by my pace, fretting over going too fast or going too slow.  I ran by feel.  unfortunately I went out too fast.  I clocked my first click around 4:10.  oops.  I tried to pull it back but not so sure it happened.  ha.
2.  I raced in both compression socks for the first time.  Perhaps it was mental but my legs felt fresher then fresh, I had more pep and bounce in my step.  Afterwards I stated well I be running with those from now on.  Better find me some orange ones.
3.  I ran with a clear head.  I somehow channeled my nervous energy.  I know I know it was a small race with not a whole lotta pressure but it was good practice.  i did not make nervous chit chat at the start.  I took my position, did my usual hug, kiss, ear rub and jump routine and focussed straight ahead.
4.  For the first time in a long time I felt like a real live athlete.  I felt fit and strong.  And well I know thats not really changing anything it helped bring the old confidence back.  My level of fitness right now is kinda crazy to me.  I mean I just ran a marathon 20 days ago and to go out and run hard was amazing.  there has gots to me something to be said for that.

I am learning that in these short distances, it really is about strategy and planning.  You need to think through each km because you do not have the time to lose, literally.  Today i had to remind myself a few times that it was me against the clock and nothing more.  When I saw the timex hit 33 mins on the ole watch, I knew I had to dig and pour it on to make my 35 mins goal.  Strategically, I should have been smarter and started a little slower but now I know this for next time.  one of my running buddies told me awhile back in training when we do mile repeats and such that think of the repeats like gears of a car.  Each mile you gear up and go faster and faster so your last is your fastest and strongest.  I need to bring this train of thought to my short distance racing.  All in time, my friends.
All in all today was wicked.  I won my agegroup, was 5th overall  (which I am still a bit confused about, as I only counted 2 women ahead of me!? but alas, registration does not lie, right?) and I ran a PB of 35:28.  I am thrilled.  First time I have EVER won my agegroup.  pretty cool right??  Team Runway killed it!  The coach won men overall and Gilly won the womens top spot.  Carolyn Hicks placed in her agegroup and ran a killer PB while Jeff Smith was 2nd in his agegroup.  A great day for all. Pretty proud to be part of the Killer run club The Runway and feel lucky to have  a coach who never seems to be bothered by never ending questions or queries and whom never seems to stop believin' in me.  Awesome, right?
Time for a bubble bath and some white wine...
V. xo

I am addicted.

True dat.

‎"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

Truth.

Thanks Erin Bryce for sharing!
V.

New York Marathon, I heart you.

So the New York Marathon is done and done.  It was a killer experience all and all but I would be lying to y'all if I did not tell you I am and was a bit disappointed with my results.  I know I know, the whole woah is me routine is lamer then lame and my blog is a space of optimism, sunshine and all that.  BUT I am human and I pinky this will not be negative, just honest.
I work hard.  Like real hard. I follow my running regime to the T.  I follow a strict training regime and listen dutifully to my coach.  My weeks are filled with 7-8 work outs and I run 50-70 miles.  The past 6 months has seen me battle with obnixious injuries--some quad issues, some shin and calf issues and a big fat cluster eff in the ole right hip.  I pushed through all of them.  I ignored them as best I could and tried to keep my anxiety at bay.

Fast forward to last weekend...Nov. 5th.  We were in NYC.  I was feeling effing amazing.  My legs had not felt that fresh in I cannot remember the last time.  I was nervous but not overly.  Nov. 6th, The morning of the race, everything went as planned.  Although my tummy was a mess of knots and I did have some gastro issues--alas nothing I need to share here!  We gots a little panicked from the ferry to the bus but it was all nerves.  The weather was perfect.  On the start line, my tummy felt empty.  But there was nothing I could do about that now.  I set those thoughts aside, hugged myself as always, kissed my biceps, rubbed my ear lobes and jumped three times (been doing this since I was a child as a competitive swimmer).  And we were off.  My first 16 miles felt good.  I was a little slower then pace but I was really hoping to run a negative split so I was confident.  The Queenboro bridge was effing tough.  Quite an incline and with little decline for recovery.  The side/head wind gots you good.  But I tried to keep smiling and enjoy every second.  From here on out, I had to push hard.  At mile 20, I lost the feeling in my feet.  from my toes up to my ankles.  It was odd and disconcerting.  Frightful thoughts raced through my head:  do I stop?  do I not finish?  fortunately or maybe unfortunately, this is never an option for me.  you finish what you start.  so I kept trucking.  My pace band had fallen out of my pocket some time ago but I knew I needed 8 mins miles.  I could not keep'em consistent so I turned the face of my garmin away from me, put my head down and decided to just get'er done.  I knew my goal time was already out of reach but I could not focus on this.  I promised myself that what ever happened I would not be disappointed with my results because I did everything I possibly could to be ready for NY AND the fact that 6 mos ago all my sports health care providers told me the marathon was a far fetched dream that may not happen.  well, I showed them didn't I?  But the truth of the matter is, I am a tad disappointed by my time because I did do everything I possibly could to prepare.  I made new choices like giving up certain things and missing out on certain things and although I would not change this for anything I still wonder why my body couldn't do it!!  Am I proud of myself for rocking it best I could?  hells yes but I want that PB more then you know.  The fire is burning hotter then ever before.  After the race, I was buzzed with emotional energy--positive.  First person I called was my coach.  I could hear the pride in his voice which made my heart smile.  After it all set in a bit, I began reasoning with myself.  Maybe my 3:29 at Mississauga was a total fluke.  Gilly reassured me that running does not work that way.  There are no flukes. She reminded me what I said a million times, sometimes its your day and sometimes its not.  I made NYC my day but just did not get the time I was hoping for.  Disappointment only brings a harder work ethic over here.  5 mins after the race I was like I am done with marathons.  6 hours later I was like well, maybe one more!?  haha.  I am going to take the next season to work on my short distances.  Get the speed up.  some goals I through out there to the coach were a fast half-hopefully a sub 1:35 with some pacing help and I would really like to try a tri in the summer.
As in every life situation, we learn.  Every marathon I run, I learn more about who I am and what I am about.  I am one determined chick.  I do not give up easily.

The one thing that has been shocking to me, and in away disappointing, 2 days post race my legs felt fine.  Like go for a run, no stiffness or sorenes fine.  It goes to show you that a. I am in fricking great shape.  and b. (grrrrr) maybe I did not push hard enough Sunday.  I have enjoyed two short runs this week where I have felt light and fresh.  I have one more week of chilltown then its back at it.
In conclusion, as promised, no negativity here.  no siree bob.  but honesty..yes ma'am.  I love running.  I love everything about it and I am going to keep working hard and get me some pb's.
New York Marathon-I heart you.  The experience was one of a lifetime.  I will be recounting the moments within the experience for many days to come.
now, its back at it. off to get my ass kicked by the coach and I cannot wait.
V. xo